


did you even wash your tears?

by arthur_pendragon



Series: Pornalot 2018 [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Arthur Pendragon, Canon Era, Insecurity, M/M, Merlin POV, POV Second Person, Praise Kink, Seemingly unrequited love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:07:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthur_pendragon/pseuds/arthur_pendragon
Summary: You think today's the day he'll leave. Today's the day you turn into the rag doll that you've always thought you've been.





	did you even wash your tears?

**Author's Note:**

> this placed third jointly with two other fics (but technically since second place was claimed by two fics this ranks fourth). Not the happiest about the quality of my fic but here goes.
> 
> Please enjoy this fic regardless of my bitching!

"You look amazing," he mutters. "Fuck. Merlin. Can't believe you always come to me. You look... _fuck_ , so fucking..."

Your heart starts rattling in your ribcage. It's either that or your ears've stopped listening to anything but the ringing silence in his mouth. He never rubs it in, but you know; you're blessed with good luck for having held his attention this long, and he could easily toss you aside and move on without a backward look. It's worse today. You think today's the day he'll leave. Today's the day you turn into the rag doll that you've always thought you've been.

He sees your face, then, and looks into your eyes. Something changes in his and then he's in your space, knocking your arms away from the chest you were protecting from cracking open any further, kissing down the sternum so used to the press of his lips that it's now his breastbone settled in your body. It used to elate you. Now it's a thorn threatening to pierce your heart.

(You would bleed and bleed, and they'd all watch you die and forget you and he would be doing this with her.)

"Merlin," he says quietly, while his fingers curl around your weeping cock and make obscene sounds with it. You can't hold your sighs and girlish whimpers back, writhing and keening on his bed, his conquest. You love it when he holds you like this. He's holding _you_. No one else. Not Guinevere with the warm brown eyes and the sweet smile you're too hungry to be capable of. Not her, the queen he chose for himself.

He's with you.

"Darling," he says. He slaps your red little cock with a gentle palm and watches it bob, listening to your sweet cries at the pain so good it's also pleasure. "Look at this pretty thing, swaying for me." He grasps you at the base and shakes slightly. It's such an innocently filthy act that it knocks the breath out of you. "It's mine to use, isn't it?"

"Of course, all yours," you say, voice strangled. "Please, Arthur."

So he takes you in hand again and works you until you're whining as you come, all over his fingers and the ring he never bothered to take off. What a pickle you're in; seducer of the married king of Camelot to the point that he no longer cares for an heir or beds his wife. You don't know any way forward that won't hurt her, and going back will utterly wreck you.

You're coming down from your high, waiting for him to turn you over and plunge ever so slowly into you. He likes seeing your hole flutter and wink before he fills it up. And then he'll say all those lovely things again, the ones that drive you out of your mind because you know he never speaks falsehoods in bed, means every bit of everything. But he just sits still, on his heels between your legs. You reach out for him and he clambers on top of you for a hug.

"You're breathtaking, Merlin," you hear him whisper into your shoulder. "You're exquisite. I don't know how I —"

"You're every bit as exquisite as I am and infinitely more," you mumble into his spun-gold hair. "My king."

You're so very in love with this man.

"I want, today," he begins, shaky and so unsure that you fiercely want to kiss his hesitation away. "Will you...?"

"Yes," you can't say fast enough. He smiles shyly at you and you burn that smile into your mind, aware that this is a side to him you will rarely see again, if ever.

In no time at all there's oil on your fingers and he's kissing you, virginally passionate, deep as you reach between his legs and up, trace the rim of his hole with a fingertip. He rocks back onto your hand and you try not to make him beg, fucking him open with a finger, two, three until he's moaning your name with abandon into your waiting mouth. Your name sounds like heaven in his voice.

You fuck him until he comes all over you, over your spent, soft cock nestled against your thigh; and when he holds you close to his chest and voices a multitude of love-filled confessions he hasn't the ability to utter in daylight, you bury your face in his neck, breathe him in, and settle in to listen, safe in the knowledge that you won't be tossed away tonight, rag doll Merlin.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Rag Doll Merlin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16557200) by [Purpleplums](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purpleplums/pseuds/Purpleplums)




End file.
